u know... this happened to me a lot of times.. but i know that its all emotions and feelings... i have to fight it no matter what.. this concerns about one thing, and im not gona tell you.. lets just keep it till there.. the doubts and confusions are about one "thing" ... sorry if i have confused you at the beginning already.. i keep telling myself that this world is humongous.. enormous.. gigantic... BIG.... its just big..... and in reality, it really is big... but sometimes, the pressure exerted on me makes me feel like this world no bigger than my bedroom! like, im stuck in the same place.. got nowhere else to go to look for answers to all of my questions floating around my private spaces.. but then when i take some time to think, i can slowly see the world expanding back to its original size which is, big.... yea.... so this means, that there are always possibilities that we can find to look for solutions to our problems.. u think the number people on earth is infinite? no... they decrease and increase every second..just like chances... they come and go.... when we have any opportunity, we should grab it... but sometimes, we grab it too soon and in the end we make no use of it, or it becomes bad... THIS is what im afraid of.. this has to do with, "the thing", that is bothering me.. this is when i will feel like the world is crumpling down, creating dead ends and holes on the floor, leaving me nowhere to go... sometimes i c completely no open path... and when im stuck, i have no choice but to create my own path.. and when i do, the most disappointing thing is that when i try to create my own path, its either there is just no way to do it or that path is already being used by something else that is totally out of my concern... yes, i know... u have not a single clue about what im talking about.. i know u dont understand, and i dont care if you do or dont... its just how i feel... but still, whenever the world "shrinks" , i have to be strong and blow it back to its own size so i can explore more and find more answers.... the world, is a very unique place.. its the only planet that can support life.. and life, is a gift.. oops! goin off topic... who cares eyh? so yea.. i just know that i gotta be strong and keep thinking positive... sometimes i feel like im crushed by a big damn truck... or a ship... if i dont get out, i'll be trapped and die.. aint gona let that happen! so yea... im just 18..... i dont know how much more challenges, riddles, puzzles, gossips, pressures, obstacles and barriers that are coming up ahead.... looks like the game of life has to be played safely and cleverly till the very end to find out what "bonuses" we would get.. im super sorry if u have gone nuts reading this.................................. but what can i do........................
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